For me, as a widower, you can easily fall into a victim mentality. Why me? Losing Ursula is so unfair. I’m not going to make it. Unlike our spouses, men are not the social butterflies, so deep, emotional connection is lost or is non-existent. A lot of men are trying to navigate this journey of grief all alone because it’s hard to reach out with our emotions. That feeling of fear, doubt, worry, anger, and facing the unknown without help can make us feel we have been given a death sentence of our own following the death of our spouse. That’s a lonely feeling; that’s a lonely road.
Because society is ill-prepared and uncomfortable with grief, many avoid those who are on this path, thinking it is something you should get over quickly. I find the response I’m ok, “I’m making it,” or the classic, “I’m doing well as expected.” my usual response when asked; John, how are you? Most respond, “If you need me, call me!” Sometimes, I’m not sure what I need or even want. But my hope comes from my relationship with God; others and all my fellow brothers that’s on this journey with me.
Labor with the Creator 