Fear creeps in when God takes us from the familiar to the unfamiliar. The children of Israel were in Egyptian bondage for centuries; this was all that they knew. The taskmaster’s constant pressure to produce bricks without straw placed tremendous toil on their minds, bodies, and souls. God sent Moses to deliver his people. Following the plagues in Egypt, Pharaoh released them so they could go and worship God in the desert. They left the familiarity of bondage behind, only to be confronted with an unfamiliar future ahead. The Red Sea represented their future; in contrast, the pursuit of Pharaoh’s army represented their past. As their past caught up with them, and the thought of having no way out, the idea of dying in the desert started to consume them.

When we leave what’s familiar—family, friends, community, the way of life as we know it—fear will rear its ugly head. The thoughts of what if, I’m not qualified, I’m not good enough, or what others will think can consume us and cause us to look back and desire the past. But to go where we have never been, and to see all that God has for us, we must be willing to step out into the unfamiliar. This step, my friend, takes faith. Are you willing to step out into the unfamiliar to find your familiar?

“We only know you as Daddy!” was the statement echoed by my daughters as we sat talking in the kitchen that day. This was about a year following Ursula’s passing, so initially my response was shock, with a mixed attitude. What do you mean, you know nothing about me, I’ve been here, I’m your daddy? How do you not know? “That’s it, ” one of my daughters replied. “We don’t know anything about you before marrying Momma and being our daddy. As I pondered those statements, the seeds of this truth slowly began to take root over the next few days. Though I had lived under the same roof, sacrificed, provided discipline, and encouraged my children, they did not know me. They knew nothing of my past, my upbringing, parents, relatives, schooling, or even previous relationships; in essence, I had no history before being their daddy. It seems I just showed up one day from somewhere, to do this thing called fatherhood.

Now, in all fairness, a lot of this can be attributed to my parents’ early passing. My dad passed away

As I listened to this song this morning, my thoughts went to you. Through all you’ve been through—the pain, the setbacks, and failures—you still find a reason to smile, 😁 you still find a way to encourage yourself, and when you do, it radiates to those around you who need the same thing: a smile. Thank you for being you; it has made all the difference in so many lives, including mine. 🙏🏾❤️😇 Oh one more thing: “Keep Smiling” 😁

“In the beginning God created.” And if he took the time to create, surely he will take care of you. Father, thank you for being who you are, the creator, sustainer, and giver of life. Be with us today, and provide safety, protection, wisdom, and understanding as we step out into this world of uncertainty, knowing that you have us. Be with Kathy in her endeavors, be with her friends, and provide safe travels as they travel by train to visit her, be with her daughters, son-in-law, and grandson. And finally, grant her and me wisdom, understanding, and love as we embark on this new relationship. I asked all this in Jesus’ name, amen.

1. Purple is her favorite color 💜
2. Loves cuddling 🤗
3. Will suck your tears away (be prepared!) 😳
4. Loves to travel ✈️
5. Love to give out hugs 🤗
6. Keeps Smiling 😁
7. Loves the outdoors ⛺️
8. Loves God 😇
9. Loved High Heal Shoes 👠
10. Love her three bears 🧸🧸🧸
11. Loves seafood 🦀🦞🍤
12. Loves coffee ☕️
13. No eggs, Mayo; allergic! 🤢
14. Capable of taking multiple baths in one day! 🛁
15. No pork 🐷
16. Journals ✍🏾
17. Makes journals 📓
18. Paints 🎨
19. Misses her mom tremendously 😢
20. Loves the New York Giants 🏈
21. Loves cartoons 📺
22. Has overcome a lot in life 🥹
23. Loves with all her heart ❤️
24. Very photogenic 📸
25. And there’s more to learn 😁

Sometimes, you want to have someone to hang out with, do life with, or at least do things together: shopping, eating out, and checking out essential things to you or that person. Yesterday was the first time I longed for some female companionship, not for intimacy, but to be with. As I walked into Kohl’s in Arlington, a feeling of loneliness hit me that was different from other times; unlike the moments of grief or loneliness I felt from Ursula not being here, this was different. I longed for a female to talk to, laugh with, sit and have a meal with, and explore life. Today marks 16 months since she’s been gone.

Know this: that God is bigger than all your problems. Do you feel like the children of Israel who, after years of bondage, were finally free, only to come to the Red Sea with no way out? Today, your Red Sea might be the loss of a loved one, a health crisis, collapse of financies, or the end of a relationship. It can include homelessness, a job loss, or thoughts of suicide. Though there are no quick fixes or magic wands to wave over our situations, God knows, cares, and has a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) states, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Exodus 14:13 (KJV) states, “And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you today: for the Egyptians whom ye have seen today, ye shall see them again no more forever.” Oh, the outcome of the Red Sea story; they walked through the middle of the sea on dry ground. Be blessed! 🙏🏾😇

Your life will be like two steaks: tender and tough. When life is tender and well-seasoned, it’s all gravy, baby! Everything seems to work in your favor: the right moment, opportunity, and people. Resources are in abundance. It’s good, it’s excellent, and it’s well done. “I just can’t get enough!” “Give me a double portion, please!” Contrast that with “This life is tough; I don’t want it. Please send it back!” echoes when unfavorable seasons come, you can’t cut your way through, doors close, opportunities are missed, resources dry up, and people leave. So, whatever steak you eat this season, tender or tough, know that God is in control and still with you, and he will work it out in your flavor; I mean, favor! He, he! 😁 Romans 8:28 (NASB) states: “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.”

As I sit and ponder these last seven days, I slowly realize I want someone to share life with. Is it possible to have my cake and eat it too? Was this a blessing in disguise that has now become a burden? Did I hang my hopes too high? Did I put myself out there to have to come back with my tail between my legs? I don’t know, but that’s how it feels right now. Am I wrong for wanting someone to do and see all life offers? To laugh with, to hold, to share? Is it bad to desire another cheerleader, a social butterfly that comes along and reminds you that you have a purpose, that you are great, and that I am proud of you? Is it wrong to desire someone to do life with? Is it bad to want a change from my current situation from being alone, eating alone, shopping alone, and sometimes laughing in silence? This loneliness is what I wake up to each day. Is it wrong to want someone to check on, encourage, or cry with? Is it wrong to have someone to travel and see the world with? Am I wrong for wanting my own someone to love?

This morning, I was reminded again that I’m not Superman. I wanted to be the rescuer, but I couldn’t. I tried to fight the battle, find the tool to fix the problem and comfort the situation. I wanted to know all the details (why you couldn’t sleep), but it was none of my business. I was asked to perform a specific duty (Pray), which was the request. I did, but truthfully, that was the hardest part.

Unlike Superman, We can’t go back and rewrite the pain that people experienced, can’t stop the locomotive of loss that one feels. We are all the sum of the life we have lived. Our successes, failures, broken relationships, closed doors, and missed opportunities. Many radiate a smile and confidence on the outside but resemble crushed glass on the inside.