The Demotion

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

“This is why you came here, to drive,” echoed in my spirit as I slumped in the company car, angry, discouraged, and wanting to quit. Two weeks prior, I was demoted from my office job as a lead/shift manager and back to driver. Honestly, I shouldn’t have been surprised, but still, I was caught off guard. The demotion wasn’t because I had violated company policy. Nor was I a bad employee, but in the eyes of some, I was too nice, too soft, too John! And honestly, I was! They wanted more accountability with the drivers, and I didn’t want to babysit! So after two and a half years, I was placed back into the driver’s seat: Take it or leave it. In the eyes of many, myself included, this was considered the “Ultimate Demotion.” It was embarrassing trying to explain how a grown-ass man lost his manager position and was now back to clicking seat belts. Not to mention the pay cut- ouch! I struggled with the decision, having let so many people down, especially my family. I really thought of quitting, but I enjoyed driving; I loved working for the company, and driving was therapy, and now I was reminded why I came here. To drive.

Back in the Driver’s Seat

Emmanuel: “God with us.” In every moment of our lives, God is with us. Even in the darkest moments of pain and suffering, he hasn’t forsaken us; He loves us and has a plan for us. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) God knew the storm that lay ahead and prepared me for its impact by placing me back where I belonged. Driving became a big part of my healing journey. It gave me solitude to pray, reminisce, grieve, and find encouragement in experiences and conversations with passengers that would have been impossible working in the office as a lead. What I saw as the “Ultimate Demotion” has become the backside-of-the-mountain blessing, as God helped me navigate grief and prepare for his purpose.

So what does this all mean?

After killing an Egyptian, Moses fled Egypt and spent 40 years in exile in Midian as a shepherd. It was there, on the backside of the mountain, some 40 years later, in a lonely shepherd role, that God’s purpose was revealed. God appeared to him in a burning bush and instructed him to return to Egypt to lead his people out of slavery. This return to his past failure was necessary for him to fulfill his future calling as a leader. Moses’ 40 years of exile were God’s 40 years of preparation.

The nine months before Ursula’s passing were my Midian, my backside-of-the-mountain experience, my preparation. God allowed the demotion, not only to prepare me for Ursula’s loss but also to serve as a catalyst for revealing my purpose. “Life doesn’t end when your spouse dies. God doesn’t give you a death sentence to live out but life to live, love to give, laughs to share, lessons to learn, and people to serve.” Amazingly, God has turned my darkest days into a remarkable strength as I serve and encourage others also facing life-changing events. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1 KJV)